When there is a moment to write, I run into a major problem. Or if there is time to sit, time for anything. The problem - a sort of boredom - boredom to the point of nausea. Rather than write, I play solitaire. (Some Buddhist - some overgrown, unused path I'm on!) I've been trying to persuade myself at least to stop and look at what I am feeling. Just relax, and be attentive to that feeling that moves me into distraction rather than anything more worthwhile.
When I do any of the things I avoid, it feels good. Well, not all the time. But frequently I'm glad I went ahead. So why do I usually do the reverse?
At the moment, with what little is left of this evening, I want to exercise a bit - I really need to do that; I want to do some meditating; and I've been working on an email to send to one of the Yahoo lists I'm on. It's that last item that is the big problem. The post I've been working on is a combination of difficult, beyond my ability, and boring - all three. It makes me want to throw up. It's also the one thing I'm working on that really has little to do with the tasks I need to complete. So why do I continue at all? Ok. I just saved it as a draft, and I'll try moving on. Tomorrow I can go back to it - can it for good or perhaps respond with less effort, and to better effect. Maybe tonight I can get done the things I really want to do.
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